hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
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Sober January is a disaster.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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