Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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