I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize