You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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