I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My vagina just clenched in fear
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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