Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize