I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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