He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
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It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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