i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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