It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I could make wine with my vomit
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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