Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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