whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize