R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize