I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
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I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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