We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You dont lie about slip and slides
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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