Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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