Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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