new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
barbara walters just said penis...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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