Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.

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  (816): I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart. http://tfl.nu/md27
  Replies (5) Good night (607) Bad night (1086)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.

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  (+61): She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom. http://tfl.nu/ltjp
  Replies (43) Good night (1187) Bad night (9618) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation

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  (609): So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation http://tfl.nu/wur7
  Replies (14) Good night (4754) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.

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  (814): I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011. http://tfl.nu/1xss
  Replies (4) Good night (1557) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.

  (352): View more from Florida

  teach me your ways.

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  (770): he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it. (352): teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/5pat
  Replies (6) Good night (2865) Bad night (719)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from. 

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  (832): I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.  http://tfl.nu/6jpo
  Replies (2) Good night (982) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.

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  (714): You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/bbnq
  Replies (6) Good night (1188) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend

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  (910): I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend http://tfl.nu/p2pa
  Replies (13) Good night (964) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.

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  (306): No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit. http://tfl.nu/ncdk
  Replies (5) Good night (1121) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group

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  (708): you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group http://tfl.nu/bihz
  Replies (12) Good night (1278) Bad night (452)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting

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  (580): This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting http://tfl.nu/ouax
  Replies (9) Good night (858) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.

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  (443): Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things (1-443): Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit. http://tfl.nu/9byp
  Replies (2) Good night (257) Bad night (639)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.

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  (541): I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer. http://tfl.nu/oba2
  Replies (7) Good night (1583) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger

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  (913): My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger http://tfl.nu/nsuk
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (154) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.

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  (306): I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer. http://tfl.nu/mo8a
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

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