My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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