So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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