Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.

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  (517): I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie. http://tfl.nu/vu4d
  Replies (7) Good night (1177) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  y did u give ur computer a hand job?

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  (734): y did u give ur computer a hand job? http://tfl.nu/nk4j
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"

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  (610): my new favorite insult= "thundercunt" http://tfl.nu/7c82
  Replies (48) Good night (4053) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.

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  (203): I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do. http://tfl.nu/muw0
  Replies (16) Good night (3097) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.

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  (219): I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls. http://tfl.nu/l75s
  Replies (46) Good night (918) Bad night (3589) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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  (507): and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person. http://tfl.nu/ixis
  Replies (12) Good night (1055) Bad night (5908) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.

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  (315): They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it. http://tfl.nu/5i1a
  Replies (12) Good night (8157) Bad night (964)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee

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  (231): We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee http://tfl.nu/m4t7
  Replies (33) Good night (1347) Bad night (4124) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.

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  (519): Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this. http://tfl.nu/msry
  Replies (35) Good night (1148) Bad night (3475) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.

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  (310): for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex. http://tfl.nu/87fe
  Replies (18) Good night (3950) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.

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  (519): He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba. http://tfl.nu/mbtr
  Replies (7) Good night (2712) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I know, the people below me already told me

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  (416): You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony (289): Yeah I know, the people below me already told me http://tfl.nu/uh03
  Replies (5) Good night (2692) Bad night (572)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.

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  (434): For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass. http://tfl.nu/3jfn
  Replies (10) Good night (1503) Bad night (1094) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.

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  (479): Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom. http://tfl.nu/7rpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2768) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.

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  (248): We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom. http://tfl.nu/ik6d
  Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt

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