she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize