i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize