yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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