im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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