her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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