Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize