So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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