is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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