guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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