There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no, he came in my armpit
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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