So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize