my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize