Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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