I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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