im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
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all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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