my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize