OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
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just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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