Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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