turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize