I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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