I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
nutella sex= disaster
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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