i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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