he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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