New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
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I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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