Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
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Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
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