That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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