Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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