look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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